Why No One Is Worthy Of The 2018 Ballon d'Or
Hit the road Ronaldo. Mbappe? Mmm...no and you've lucked out Luka. Why no-one deserves the Ballon d'Or this year.
France Football released a 30-man short list for its annual Ballon d'Or prize 'short'-list. That was smart.
The magazine knows all too well, that you might as well throw a dart to choose a winner from this year's mass of mediocrity.
Here's why six front-runners shouldn't stand a chance:
Raphael Varane
True, the Real Madrid stopper was a Champions League winner and also lead the line for France in his country's glorious World Cup campaign. But technically-speaking, Varane is not even the best centerback at Real Madrid in 2018, never mind the best soccer player in the world.
Sergio Ramos is above his teammate and the Spaniard spent the year for club and country doing more frantic backwards leg-spinning than a pedal boat flotilla approaching the Niagara Falls.
And then we have Nacho - a footballer who can play at every position on Real Madrid's backline and manage to excel at none.
Instead, Varane's popularity is based on the mystique of no-one ever having heard him speak and a natural Gallic elegance which tricks people into thinking he is any good.
Lionel Messi
If the Ballon d'Or is supposed to be linked to achievements with a team, then Lionel Messi should be handing out canapes at Monday's ceremony rather than standing on the podium.
Barcelona won a La Liga title that traditional rivals, Real Madrid, gave up on last October and where Atletico Madrid never even tried in the first place. Champions League? Roma. Nuff said.
And as for Argentina and Leo Messi's contribution at the World Cup? Let's just say that Diego Maradona's reported - and thankfully untrue - demise after a game in Russia came straight after the shock of being informed that Messi had put in a half-decent performance for his country.
Leo! A shrimp cocktail over here please!
Cristiano Ronaldo
In the only meaningful moment of Real Madrid's hapless campaign last year - winning the Champions League for the third time in a row - Cristiano Ronaldo had to crowbar himself into the narrative the only way he knows how. By stealing the limelight.
That's the only way possible, considering that Ronaldo tends to go AWOL when it really matters for Madrid and gets Gareth Bale to do some work for once.
Option A for CR7 in football emergencies is to take his top off. Option B is to say something outrageous...like he is probably going to leave Real Madrid (true in this case)...to steal his teammates' wind.
That and a World Cup hat-trick against Spain simply isn't going to cut the mustard for Ronaldo this year, especially when those goals were against a Spain side that turned out to be terrible.
Kylian Mbappe
A vote for Kylian Mbappe for Ballon d'Or is like voting for the Green Party candidate. He's a human spoiler. It's a vote against the Establishment, a rejection of the way things have been since time immemorial for many...a middle finger to reality.
In reality, Mbappe was fine for PSG, blasting his way through the sturdy backlines of Guingamp to win the domestic treble. But the still fresh Mbappe was only the third most important person in PSG's attack last season, an attack that waved the white flag in the Champions League. Again.
And as for the World Cup? Did ok. But certainly not enough to be without doubt the greatest soccer player on the planet. Otherwise we'd might as well just hand the award to Brighton's Glenn Murray if we are that bored.
Luka Modric
Absolutely not.
We are not going down the Michael Owen route again.
The Real Madrid man largely went unnoticed for Real Madrid in 2017/18. Instead, an incredible domestic campaign has been retrofitted to the player's narrative, like some kind of True Lies mind-wipe device.
Modric shows up for a few games in the World Cup - didn't actually get around to winning the thing - before picking up a load of individual trophies for pretty much the same reasons that Kylian Mbappe might. Ennuie.
Largely lauded for being able to pass accurately over short distances, taking set-pieces (camera-friendly) in dramatic extra time sessions for Croatia and providing 'the assist to the assist' which appears to be a thing these days.
Antoine Griezmann
If winning the Ballon d'Or was as easy as talking about yourself endlessly for 12 months about how great you are and how you should win the Ballon d'Or, then Griezmann would be a shoe-in.
But it's not. No-one really knows how the trophy is won, but it isn't through massive PR campaigns. Except in most of Cristiano Ronaldo's victories.
This year, Griezmann has once again shown how much he has yet to deliver for Atletico Madrid. The footballer is claiming the Europa League as a trophy, but every team that actually moved out of the group stages of the Champions League last season technically performed better in Europe than Atletico.
And as for the World Cup? People remember his tormenting Lebron-style decision video just before the tournament more than his performances in Russia. And not in a good way, either.
