By Tim Stannard

1) Jese on brink of PSG move as Monaco fight for Champions League survival

Clearly, the only person who can be the New Zlatan is Zlatan Himself. But it looks increasingly the case that Real Madrid forward and music star extraordinaire, Jese, is going to be either the Chosen one or the Unfortunate one trying and fill Zlatan’s big, Swedish, goal-scoring boots at the Ligue Un champions.

Coach Zizou has admitted that talks are underway between PSG and Real Madrid, with the finer points being worked out on topics such as buy back clauses and whatnot. An announcement could be made on Wednesday on whether the deal will be a permanent one or just a temporary stay in the French capital.

Tune into the XTRA tonight at 7PM ET to find out why it never quite clicked for Jese at Real Madrid if he can out-Zlatan Zlatan at PSG.

Whilst SB is in plugging mode, so to speak, you can catch the French season-opening Trophee des Champions clash between PSG and Lyon on Saturday from 2.30PM ET / 11.30AM PT and also Monaco’s attempts to stay in the Champions League on Wednesday at 2.45PM ET, with a second-leg qualifying clash between Monaco and Fenerbahce, where the Ligue Un team are currently 2-1 down and needing Falcao to dig them out of a hole.

2) Sissoko to Madrid talk cools as Zizou gives James second chance

‘Marca’ are claiming that Real Madrid have no interest in Newcastle United and France midfielder, Moussa Sissoko, despite strong rumblings in the English press on Tuesday. Newcastle, under the stewardship of Rafa Benitez, open the Championship season in a clash at Fulham live on Friday on beIN SPORTS at 2.45PM ET / 11.45AM PT.

Meanwhile Zinedine Zidane has claimed that he would quite like James Rodriguez to stay at Real Madrid, despite reports to the contrary. "I don't want James to go, he just has to play more," said the Madrid coach ahead of Wednesday’s friendly clash against Bayern Munich.

3) Pogba now staying at Juve as Mourinho clears out World Cup winner’s locker

Paul Pogba news! It’s been a few days without some but whilst the Juventus midfielder is still on vacation, it looks like not too much is going to happen. The latest beat is that the French international is staying in Serie A, according to the man himself who spoke to fans on the topic.

Some meanie-head activity from Jose Mourinho. The Manchester United boss has reportedly had Bastian Schweinsteiger’s training ground locker cleared out in a slight hint that the footballer is unwanted at Old Trafford. The question remains though on whether that locker will be filled by Pogba’s boots and clothes?

Despite Diego Costa himself pretty much telling Sergio Ramos in a secretly recorded clip that the forward wants to go to Atletico Madrid, Chelsea boss Antonio Conte insists that the Brazilian-born Spaniard wants to stay at Stamford Bridge. Chelsea are in action on Wednesday evening against AC Milan in Minneapolis.

 4) Super Mario link to Barca as Draxler calls for Wolfsburg for exit

Potential future swoop on the horizon. Mario Gomez has a year left on a deal at Fiorentina, does not want to continue to a spell at Turkish club, Besiktas. And this has hit the Buy! Buy! alarm bells at both Barcelona and Borussia Dortmund, who fancy the German international in their ranks.

Despite only being one year at Wolfsburg, German winger Julian Draxler wants out already. “It was always clear between all parties that I would like to go to a top international club if the opportunity arises,” fumed the midfielder who has a deal with the Bundesliga club until 2020, but is clearly as useful as a soggy napkin. Real Madrid and Arsenal are thought to be interested.

A day after Argentina announced a new manager, Paraguay have appointed a brand new coach to lead the country through the CONMEBOL World Cup qualifiers – on beIN SPORTS! – and that chosen one is Francisco Arce. The former player is now in his second spell as coach having failed to qualify the team for the 2014 World Cup. Arce promises to get to the bottom of the problems this time.

A week-and-a-half till the start of the EPL season and Hull City are still without enough first team players and still without a coach. After having an approach for Wales manager, Chris Coleman, rebuffed, the Tigers are now holding a second round of talks with Gianfranco Zola.

5) Greatest nation picks greatest athlete as Rio flag bearer. Yeah!

Team USA at the Olympics has chosen their flag bearer for the Opening Ceremony. And it is Michael Phelps. He has big arms at least and also happens to be the most decorated Olympian of all time.

The Williams sisters have landed!

From being a doubt for Rio at all, Rafa Nadal has gone all-in and will enter the men’s singles, men’s doubles and mixed doubles.

A nasty surprise for Japanese gymnast, Kohei Uchimura, who received a near $4000 cellphone bill for playing Pokemon Go in Rio without realizing the cost of roaming charges.

WHAT IS SPORTS BURST?

The life philosophy of Sports Burst is that if you are not upsetting someone, then you are not trying hard enough. SB is a daily trawl and troll through the morning's sports news to bring you fact-nuggets to make you both smile and swear. Hopefully at the same time.