The Flying (Home) Dutchman
Van Gaal fired, Mourinho waits in the wings and Morata's cake clue to Madrid move. Sports Burst has 99 problems. But top stories ain't one.
by Tim Stannard
1) Van Gaal offed from Old Trafford
With a huge sigh of relief, the bumbling clown car that is Manchester United saved the football world from a blank Monday of news nothingness.
After all, it's too late to mull over the weekend's cup finals and too early to shoot the breeze and cut the cheese over Champions League feud without spending Friday and Saturday, chewing breadsticks between awkward silences.
At time of writing, Manchester United are on the brink of formally announcing the sacking of Louis Van Gaal, who remains the last person on planet Earth to be aware that his removal was a done deal, despite the FA Cup final win over Crystal Palace.
Van Gaal stands guilty of failing to qualify for the Champions League, reportedly forcing his footballers into a tactical mutiny and by making his team as pleasurable on the eyes as an Donald Trump taking a sauna.
The man to take Man Utd into the bright lights of glory is Pep Guardiola. But Man City grabbed him ages ago. Instead, it's Jose Mourinho who is expected to enter into talks with the Old Trafford club on Tuesday to negotiate the number of Super Agent Jorge Mendes players he is allowed to bring in. Catch all the latest news on an Old Trafford move on the XTRA at 10PM.
2) Morata future revealed in icing as Evra signs on for more Juve fun
Who needs inside information, moles in the dressing room and squealers when a simple cake can reveal when a player is on the move? That's the situation with Alvaro Morata, whose Juventus days look numbered after some icing revealed all.
In a more traditional manner, Juventus have announced that Patrice Evra will be staying with the Old Lady until 2018. And that's fitting as that's when Evra will become an old man.
3) Banega bounces off to Milan and Rossi looks for new career reboot
Sevilla boss, Unai Emery, announced after the Copa del Rey defeat for his team against Barcelona that Ever Banega had played his last game of the team. The Argentinean midfielder is expected to sign up with Inter Milan forthwith. And no-one has any real idea why.
Giuseppe Rossi may have found another new club to launch a comeback. Lazio could well be wanting to sign the turncoat 'Italian' striker.
4) Top football action gets underway in Toulon
The Toulon tournament keeps on going over in France, as some of the best U-21 players in the world duke it out. Monday's offering sees Portugal playing its second game in a clash against Japan, live on beIN SPORTS at 11.05PM ET. After that, England face Guinea at 1.35PM ET. You can catch all the highlights on the XTRA at 10PM.
5) Players face rainy days in Paris as French Open gets into gear
A rather rainy French Open is up and running. Monday's highlights sees Andy Murray and defending champion Stan Wawrinka in action on the men's side and number 2 seed, Agnieszka Radwanska set to play her first round match in the women's tournament.
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What is Sports Burst?
The life philosophy of Sports Burst is that if you are not upsetting someone, then you are not trying hard enough. SB is a daily trawl and troll through the morning's sports news to bring you fact-nuggets to make you both smile and swear. Hopefully at the same time.