By Tim Stannard (@stannardsports)

1) Suarez suffers aggravated agent assault over missing million dollars

There are of course a lot of serious sporting issues under the microscope on Friday – shady offshore accounts, bribery, doping, why Cristiano Ronaldo even has a tiny ‘7’ stitched onto his match-day underwear, and the question of whether Leo Messi has a ‘spot’ in the dressing room like Sheldon in ‘Big Bang Theory.’

But seeing as it’s Friday and football is returning after a solid 12-hour absence, Sports Burst is going to kick things off with some trivial – but entertaining - nonsense and an old fashioned slanging match involving Luis Suarez. Hands are being rubbed, especially as for the first time in his professional career, Luis Suarez is on the receiving end of an underhand assault.

The Barcelona man has been alleging that he was owed money by his former agent Daniel Fonseca. The Uruguayan forward is claiming that he is missing around $1 million from the transfer from Nacional de Montevideo to Dutch side Groningen in 2006. “He’s lying and has psychological problems,” yelled a not-at-all-overreacting Fonseca to Monte Carlo TV in response to the accusations. “He counts on his fingers; he doesn’t know how to add up.” Football’s Mr 10-100% - depending on the deal – then revealed that Luis Suarez has a big secret from a conversation they shared in the early stages of the footballer’s career. "I had to tell him an awkward thing, but until the day I die I will not say what it was.”

2) Coach Zizou accepts realities of life as Real Madrid manager

Across the Clasico divide, Coach Zizou has been speaking about yet another pickle Real Madrid find themselves in – the 2-0 Champions League defeat to Wolfsburg from Wednesday night that needs to be reversed and then bettered on Tuesday.

Indeed, 50% in a beIN SPORTS Twitter poll feel that it’s doable. Being French and Sports Burst loving a stereotype, the Real Madrid manager was in philosophical mood during Friday’s press conference. “The coach plays for his future in every game. I know how it is here,” said Zidane ahead of the Saturday clash against Eibar. Zizou revealed that there will be changes to the starting XI, except in one position – “Ronaldo is going to play.” NEWSFLASH! Keylor Navas and Luka Modric have been left out of the squad, as well as the injured Karim Benzema.

With Gareth Bale also as fragile as a kitten with a hangover, it’s probably a wise policy. Catch that game LIVE, LIVE, LIVE from 9.55AM ET on Saturday. And tune into the Locker Room on Friday night to hear Kay Murray and gang poor through the entrails of Real Madrid’s past, present and future. The chickens are ready for the sacrifice.

The father of Wolfsburg fullback, Ricardo Rodriguez, has hinted rather strongly that his son would like to leave the Bundesliga as soon as possible and move to another club…like…Real Madrid!

3) Future of Fernando Torres to be decided in coming days

Atletico Madrid manager, Diego Simeone, has announced that the future of Fernando Torres would be revealed in the next few days. It was thought that the forward’s current deal which expires at the end of the season would not be extended. But a flurry of tremendously dirty tackles against Barcelona, may have convinced the Atletico Madrid that Torres was the right man for the club. Oh, and former Chile boss, Jorge Sampaoli, has hinted that he is not quite a fan of Simeone’s or Atletico’s football stylings.

The latest round of La Liga gets underway on Friday with Granada battling against relegation in an Andalusian tussle against Malaga. Action kicks off on our Spanish-language sister channel from 2.30PM ET. Over on beIN SPORTS ‘Merican, you can see Lyon looking to put a bit of pressure on Monaco in second with a visit to Montpellier. Catch all the highlights and a whole lot more fun on the XTRA at 10PM.

4) Roberto Mancini says no to job that doesn’t exist as Napoli goes into hiding

Despite rumors linking the Italian with the probably-never-to-be-vacant Arsenal job, Roberto Mancini has said that he has had no interest at all from any Premier League clubs concerning a move this summer. Probably no interest from supporters either. So it’s lucky that the Inter Milan man still has a year on his contract.

Napoli are battening down the hatches after Gonzalo Higuain’s sending-off and four-match suspension, no-one spoke to the media on Friday, but there is a plan to try and reduce Higuain’s punishment through an appeal. Good luck with that. A rather crucial game in terms of the Serie A top three shake up is on Sunday at 8.55AM ET as Napoli host Hellas Verona.

5) Spieth takes charge in Augusta as Big Easy has hard time

Sad but compelling. Ernie Else and ‘Hoarders’ have something in common after the former world number one six putts from six feet in the opening hole of Thursday’s action from Augusta for a nine. The remarkable Jordan Spieth leads the way after day one at 6-under.

It’s practice day for the MotoGP riders in Austin ahead of the USA leg of the grand world tour. Most of the intrigue on Thursday surrounded Jorge Lorenzo with the Yamaha rider saying that he was not sure of his future once his current deal expires at the end of the season. You can catch the race exclusively on beIN SPORTS from 11.55 AM ET and get the latest trackside in Texas on the XTRA at 10PM ET.