By Tim Stannard

1) Barca try to bury bad news with Umtiti five-year deal

Dmytro Anatoliyovych Chygrynskiy, Thomas Vermaelan, Jeremy Mathieu – Barcelona have not had a huge amount of luck in recent years in bringing in centerbacks who are capable of playing the club’s peculiar and somewhat dithering brand of football. But this time, the Catalan club reckon they have hit the footballing jackpot by announcing the signing of Lyon defender, Samuel Umtiti, for a fee of $27m.

Although the medical and official signing will take place on Thursday with the official presentation on Friday, Barcelona have announced the signing on Tuesday perhaps hoping that everyone will forget about that whole “We are all Leo Messi” nonsense.

2) Ronaldo set to miss European Super Cup clash with Sevilla as Thierry Henry leaves Arsenal

One less shirt-removing trophy lift opportunity for Cristiano Ronaldo in the new season. The knee-knock sustained in the Euro 2016 final will see the footballer out for three to four weeks.

Thierry Henry has left Arsenal after rejecting the chance to manage the team’s U-18 side. The former footballer has also been working in England as TV pundit and that appears to have been a sticking point for a picky Arsenal.

3) Pogba going nowhere fast as Pelle becomes one of best paid players on the planet

Paul Pogba is currently a Schrodinger’s cat-style philosophical conundrum in that the footballer is both moving to Manchester United and staying at Juventus at the same time. It had looked like a return to Old Trafford was on the cards after the completion of Euro 2016 but now it appears that Juventus want the midfielder to stay. Well, that’s according to his agent, Mino Raiola, who is about as credible as Fox News in terms of plausibility. "He is in no rush to leave, and Juventus do not want him to go,” said Raiola. So Man Utd wouldn’t pay you the agent’s fee then, Mino?

Here’s a story to make you cry. After moving to the Chinese Super League, Graziano Pelle, becomes one of the best paid players in the world having secured earnings of a reported $42m over two-and-a-half years. That whacks the Italian forward into sixth, alongside King Zlatan. The Swede is not going to like that.

Dubious rumor of the day sees Gonzalo Higuain moving to Arsenal in a cash and Olivier Giroud deal with Napoli.

4) Sissoko desperate for Newcastle move as Spurs sign new title-bottler

Moussa Sissoko’s sudden burst of energy during the Euro 2016 final might have had something to do with the idea that it was the midfielder’s last chance to attract a buyer to get him out of Newcastle United. However, a reported $45m transfer fee set by the Championship club has the Frenchman’s agent all riled. "We hope Rafa Benitez and Newcastle will be more reasonable again so we can resolve Moussa's future,” was the reported complaint from the footballer’s Mr 15%.

DONE DEAL! Spurs have found a new player to guide them towards another season of desperate disappointment. Dutch striker Vincent Janssen joins from AZ Alkmaar in a $22m deal.

Manchester City have been linked with Colombian forward, Marlos Moreno. "Everything with Marlos is very close," says Reinaldo Rueda the footballer’s club coach at Atletico Nacional.

Moreno could be joined by a compatriot in the Premier League as AC Milan’s Carlos Bacca is reportedly in talks with West Ham United. Catch all the transfer news and nonsense on the XTRA at 7PM ET. It’ll be a good ‘un.

5) Chase resumes in Tour de France to catch Chris Froome

After those lazy Tour de France riders put their feet up on Monday and had a rest, they are back on the road in Stage 10. The man to catch, as ever, is Chris Froome. Other breaking news from the cycling world is that injury sees Alberto Contador missing the Olympics. The Spanish rider dropped out of the Tour de France after a series of crashes and also developing a fever. Poor fella.

WHAT IS SPORTS BURST?

The life philosophy of sports burst is that if you are not upsetting someone, then you are not trying hard enough. sb is a daily trawl and troll through the morning's sports news to bring you fact-nuggets to make you both smile and swear. hopefully at the same time.