Change the cartridge, Tuca! Your Tigres are champions. If you stick with your tradition of chopping off your substantial mustache after winning a trophy, you'll enter the holidays freshly shaved. That razor better be ready to go.

What's that? Oh, I know you don't want to say it's over. There are 90 minutes of soccer to be played. But Sunday's second leg in Mexico City is all but academic. Enjoy yourself down there! Sip some pulque. Visit a museum. After delivering such a crushing blow in the first leg, there's no chance Pumas come back.

Don't believe me? You know the numbers. Goals: 3-0 Tigres. Shots on goal: 9-1 Tigres. Shots 20-7 Tigres. Possession: 61-39 Tigres. You need me to keep going?

Pumas had absolutely no answer for your game plan. I've got to give you credit. I might've been tempted to do something a little different, but Jesus Duenas found Jurgen Damm on the right early and often. You let Damm use his speed to expose Luis Fuentes. Bringing Israel Jimenez forward up from right back to keep Fidel Martinez from getting forward was a nice touch after the Ecuadorian was the key man for 

And on the other side? Did Ismael Sosa even play for Pumas? The statsheet says he got a yellow card, but I hardly remember seeing him out there. I never even would've guessed your first-choice left back was out of commission. You didn't mess around, either. Your team might've been able to get a fourth goal, and you weren't about to make any defensive substitutions, what with bringing on Damian Alvarez and Joffre Guerron instead of somebody to tighten things up. Savage.

There's no doubt about it. Tigres are going to be the Liga MX champion.

It's been quite a year for you. Sure, you weren't able to lift the Copa Libertadores trophy, but you came so close. Once your team finished with that, you had to get them focused on the league. It took a bit of time for them to kick into gear, but Thursday's win makes it a dozen undefeated. I wouldn't bet against a baker's dozen coming this weekend, and a trophy along with it.

Your team hardly missed a beat when you went to take over the national team on an interim basis. It's hard to believe it's only been two months since the last time you won some silverware, guiding El Tri to that famous win over the United States in the CONCACAF Cup.

It was smart to get back to the club side. There's a good thing going there with Andre-Pierre Gignac, Damm, Aquino, Duenas, Nahuel Guzman in goal. It's a great team you've got. The owners aren't kidding around with the salaries. You're probably not doing too bad either. I saw those pictures of you driving a bright red Ferari. Is that your ride now for real?

All right, man. I know you're busy preparing for the second leg. Just wanted to say congrats on the amazing year, and on the championship.

-JA