Brazil: How Low Can You Go?
Will Brazil climb out of hole or keep digging? Is there really a Neymar-Selena-Bieber thing going on? And is Mourinho about to add Pogba to Bailly? So many questions, so little effort to answer them.
By Tim Stannard
1) Dunga promises Brazil won’t get worse as Neymar makes enemy out of Bieber
Whilst no doubt regretting ever having taken the doomed job in the first place, Dunga has promised faithfully that his Brazil team will improve as the Copa America Centenario tournament goes on. To be fair, the very fallen giants can’t really get any worse after an opening goalless draw with Ecuador and last season’s Copa America business. And that whole World Cup game against Germany stuff. However, the team’s participation in the current summer affair may not be that long if Brazil fail to pick up a win against Haiti in Orlando. Catch all the latest news and reaction from the Haiti clash on
Meanwhile, Neymar appears to be having more hang-time with The Bieber if the footballer’s Instagram post is an indication. Although the gossip sites suggest that the relationship might be getting a little awkward with the hint of an Unimas soap opera style Selena Gomez love triangle thing going on.
At least Brazil will have a third opportunity to massively flop in front of their fans in a five-year period after the country was awarded the 2019 Copa America finals – providing CONMEBOL does not organize any others in between to celebrate the president’s cat’s birthday or the purchase of a new office fridge for the group’s HQ.
2) Klinsmann boasts that his second-placed US is in ‘driving seat’
Erm. Sports Burst might have missed something here. A jubilant and slightly media-taunting, Jurgen Klinsmann, has said that his team are in the driving seat to get out of the group after Tuesday’s 4-0 win over Costa Rica. If the US boss is referencing Miss Daisy in terms of the driving seat, then the German might be right. But by any other measure, the US are in second, three points behind Colombia and needing to avoid defeat to Paraguay in Saturday’s final match to go through. In the driving seat of a Google car perhaps.
On a Colombia continuation, if James Rodriguez ever played for Real Madrid then the warning from the country’s manager, Jose Pekerman, that the midfielder might need surgery on a shoulder injury would be a concern. But as he doesn’t, it won’t.
3) Mourinho makes first big splash with Bailly as Everton move closer to Koeman
Jose Mourinho has made his first signing as new Manchester United boss. The lucky footballer is Villarreal and Ivory Coast center-back, Eric Bailly, who is set to join up for a $44 million fee. Which is quite a lot. "Eric is a young central defender with great natural talent,” confirmed Mourinho. The next deal for United might also be a whopper – the return of Paul Pogba to Old Trafford.
Meanwhile, perennially disappointing Premier League outfit, Everton, are on the brink of announcing Ronald Koeman as the club’s new manager after sneaking the Dutchman out of Southampton.
4) Rossi may fight new Serie A home as AC Milan might be making move for another new manager
Giuseppe Rossi might have a new place to lay his hat. And that home is called Bologna who are reportedly sniffing around Fiorentina to take their American turn coat striker off their hands.
Another scurrilous rumor suggests that Manuel Pellegrini is set to be the new AC Milan boss.
Well, the Chilean won’t be pleased by the sight of clearly bored AC Milan forward, M'Baye Niang, leaping from a great height into a small amount of water whilst on vacation. Something that can’t go wrong at all.
5) Ronaldo returns in Euro 2016 tune-up
RONALDO ALERT! CR7 – last seen in shirt-ripping action in the Champions League – is back on the football radar and live on beIN SPORTS at 2.35 in a Euro 2016 tune up against Estonia.
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The life philosophy of Sports Burst is that if you are not upsetting someone, then you are not trying hard enough. SB is a daily trawl and troll through the morning's sports news to bring you fact-nuggets to make you both smile and swear. Hopefully at the same time.