Dani Alves Calls for Javier Mascherano Mutiny at Barça
The agony of choice for an Argentinean, England suffer Brexit repeat and Serena begins Wimbledon defense. Sports Burst stuffs the empty cushion of sport with its feathers of truth.
By Tim Stannard
1) Dani Alves in dog whistle call for Masche move to Juventus
If the average Joe or Josie is huffing that modern life is too much of a challenge what with trying to remember shopping lists, the qualifying format of American Ninja Warrior, and which of the 792 passwords scribbled on a piece of paper unlocks that work payroll account used every two years, then pity poor Javier Mascherano.
The Argentinean is thought to be one of those who could be joining Leo Messi in the international retirement turncoat club, but the Barca rock also has Dani Alves calling for him to leave his club home too and join him in his new adventure at Juventus. What is a footballer to do?
The Brazilian fullback was being presented, on Tuesday, by the Serie A club – dressed as a Las Vegas lounge singer – and sneaked that it would be “an honor” for Masche, who is unsettled at Barcelona, to have his former Barcelona buddy with him in Turin. Whilst Alves was on media duty, the defender also claimed that he was at Juve to try and win the Champions League, and had chosen the number 23 shirt to emulate LeBron James.
Diego Maradona has called on Leo Messi to reconsider his decision to retire from the Argentina side. Possibly so the chunky one can enjoy many more years of people suggesting that Maradona will also be the best out of the two.
2) England in bi-annual moan after Iceland agony
“We few, we happy few, we band of brothers.” The year of the plucky upstart continues. The team of ne’er do wells and cast-offs. The forgotten and forlorn. But people’s collectives formed by those whose force of will triumphs over such notions as talent. Leicester City…Real Madrid and now Iceland. The highly amusing 2-1 over England on Monday in Euro 2016 has the supposed home of football navel-gazing like a four-star general in the Pacific and pondering why their football team is so rubbish. Again.
Manager, Roy Hodgson, jumped ship minutes after the match and now the search begins for a new sap to lead the English football team into another light at the end of a tunnel which ends up being a train called mediocrity.
Unsurprisingly, Hodgson is taking quite the hit after England’s last-16 departure followed a woefully bad World Cup performance in Brazil two years ago. However, the focus has now moved onto find a replacement with current under-U21 coach, Gareth Southgate, the leading favorite. Current England trainer and former Valencia boss, Gary Neville, might also want to consider throwing his hat into the ring, as he probably doesn’t have too much else going on at the moment.
3) Del Bosque ponders future after Spain sent home
Although Spain are also going through a round of wound-licking on Tuesday at least La Roja has actually been at the top of the summit, to fall right off it like Wile E. Coyote. A fairly comprehensive defeat against Italy on Monday puts the future of manager, Vicente Del Bosque, very much in doubt with the mustachioed one claiming that he was going to speak to Spain’s federation president about his destiny.
The Spanish players are already back in the homeland with ‘Marca’ pointing out that there were some very long faces ‘de-planing’. And no, Ruud Van Nistelrooy was not part of the coaching team for the former World Champions. Tune into the new-look XTRA at 7PM ET for a report from our Karina Kvasniova on the blame game in Spain on what went wrong in Euro 2016.
At least our Tancredi Palmeri, currently on location at the tournament, is a happy bunny after Italy’s win, by the looks of it.
4) Liverpool confirm Mane event at Anfield
Sevilla have confirmed that former Chile boss, Jorge Sampaoli, has been appointed as their new manager on a two-year deal. Sampaoli led Chile to a Copa America victory, and has the job of following Unai Emery who is expected to be appointed this week as the new manager of PSG.
5) World’s best golfer to miss Rio 2016 due to Zika virus fears
Golfer Jason Day has joined Rory McIlroy in missing the Rio Olympics due to concerns of contracting the Zika virus. The world number one misses out on the sport’s return to the Olympics after a century-long absence.
No big shocks at Wimbledon on Monday with Novak Djokovic, Roger Federer and Venus Williams pulling through in their respective first round ties. Serena Williams and Andy Murry are the big names in action on day two.
Maria Sharapova has found something to keep her busy during her two year doping ban. Attending a summer time course at the Harvard Business School.
WHAT IS SPORTS BURST?
The life philosophy of Sports Burst is that if you are not upsetting someone, then you are not trying hard enough. SB is a daily trawl and troll through the morning's sports news to bring you fact-nuggets to make you both smile and swear. Hopefully at the same time.
