Everton’s Camp Nou trash pick-up
 
This is how many telephone conversations between soccer clubs went on Thursday in Europe. “Hello, Premier League club? Do you have more money than sense? A bit desperate as you can’t buy any players after today? Right, we’ve got someone for you – not that good to be honest, but we are going to charge you four times what he’s worth. Sound good!? Deal!”
 
Barcelona’s bosses have just been through that spiel with Everton who arrived in the Catalan capital to take the double problem of Yerry Mina and Andre Gomes (Ray Hudson will be both elated and disappointed) off their La Liga hands. The Portuguese alone might cost over $20 million – or go on loan - but Everton is desperate enough to snap that offer up.

 
Another Colombian defender on the move on Thursday could be the calamitous Carlos Sanchez, reportedly in a deal to switch Fiorentina for West Ham. The Hammers have also snapped up Arsenal flop forward, Lucas Perez.
 
And the surprise big spenders of the summer, new Premier League outfit, Fulham, is set to push the cashflow over $100 million by picking up Marseille centerback André-Franck Zambo Anguissa for around $30 million. That means the stopper will not be in place for Marseille’s Ligue 1-opening clash against Toulouse which is live on beIN SPORTS on Friday at 2:30PM ET / 11:30AM PT.
 
 

Mourinho’s funk continues with double transfer disaster
 
Jose Mourinho’s summer of gloomy pessimism is set to continue with the Manchester United boss confessing that he was not optimistic of any deadline-day deals going through.
 
Speaking ahead of Friday’s Premier League opening encounter against Leicester City, the Portuguese provoker shrugged that he was "not confident. I have to focus on the players I have and the next few matches." United is thought to be in a failed pursuit of England and Leicester centerback, Harry Maguire. Sky are even reporting that an offer has been made to – and declined by - Diego Godin.
 
Overnight, Chelsea confirmed the signing of Kepa for a world-record goalkeeper fee of $91 million and also Real Madrid midfielder Mateo Kovacic to see Maurizio Sarri having to put together a new defense and midfield just three days ahead of the Stamford Bridge side’s opener against Huddersfield.

 
The beIN SPORTS USA Facebook page is the place to be at 12PM ET / 9AM PT as the Premier League entrance door closes and we sift through a vast clutter of panic buys and panicked ‘byes!’
 

Courtois pouting power works in Madrid move
 
Pouting, complaining and not turning up for work has certainly paid dividends for Thibaut Courtois who was officially presented by Real Madrid on Thursday. To be fair, the same tactic has worked for Sports Burst for a while now.
 
The 26-year-old has joined on a six-year deal and becomes one of the few players to have played for both Atletico Madrid and Real Madrid in a career. "Today I am realizing a dream," said Courtois, giving his new club crest a big smacker for the cameras.

 
However, matters may not go entirely smoothly for Courtois with Keylor Navas vowing to fight for his pace between the Real Madrid pipes – “I have the same desire to leave than I have to die," said the Costa Rican to Spanish radio. Fight! Fight!
 
And in Luka Modric news, the Italian press says that a deal between Inter and the Croatian midfielder is already in place. What is left is the trickier proposition of Real Madrid letting Modric go.
 
 

Greatest day in football history awaits
 
Oh, this is a real treat.
 
35 Europa League qualifying ties are being played on Thursday in what seems to be a phase where literally every single club in Europe is allowed to go. Diego Maradona’s new team, Dinamo Brest, is in action. Sports Burst’s obsession with Sheriff and Molde continues for another season.
 
But in teams the low-IQ column has never heard of before, we have Progres Niederkorn from Luxembourg – an angry-looking wasp is its crest – Pyunik and Alashkert both from Armenia, and Poland’s Jagiellonia Białystok.

 
Sevilla and Burnley complete the list of more illustrious teams in action.
  
WHAT IS SPORTS BURST?
 
The life philosophy of Sports Burst is that if you are not upsetting someone, then you are not trying hard enough. Sports Burst is a daily trawl and troll through the morning's sports news to bring you fact-nuggets to make you both smile and swear. Hopefully at the same time.