Sports Burst - Ronaldo Starts People's Revolution

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Cristiano Ronaldo's bottle-moving gestures start copycat campaign as soccer players take down The Man 

 

The suits at Coca Cola and UEFA must be going into what is technically called a 'freak-out overdrive' this week as a players' rebellion has broken out that might spark a Global People's Revolt Against The Man. That glorious moment could be nearly upon us, and it's all hail to Cristiano Ronaldo, our fearless leader. 

After all, it was the brand king himself, who fired the first metaphorical shots in this storming of UEFA's Bastille by placing two Coca Cola bottles out of shot and promoted water, ahead of a press conference. Ever since, soccer players have been moving bottles in symbolic gestures of Marxist revolutionary thinking. 

 

Paul Pogba followed by removing a bottle of Heineken from shot, ostensibly due to his religious beliefs, while Italy's Manuel Locatelli also strategically adjusted some carefully placed Coca Cola bottles to highlight the goodness of water while a distressed media official flapped about in the background. 

To prevent the normally fairly docile Harry Kane joining The Revolution today after the high profile England v Scotland match, Euro 2020 organizers have floated the idea of fines and asked the players to stop with their Marxist, Un-American ways.

After all, says UEFA, think of the women and children - "Uefa has reminded participating teams that partnerships are integral to the delivery of the tournament and to ensuring the development of football across Europe, including for youth and women."

This time, the revolution will be televised. 

 

 

Is Neymar the new Pele?

 

The Vulcan side of Sports Burst suggests that when emotions and tears are brought into the Brazil team too early in a tournament, it doesn't go well. Thinking back here to the 2014 World Cup, when the Brazil team imploded internally when Neymar had his back injured against Colombia and the the tournament ended for Brazil with the infamous 7-1 loss to Germany in the semifinals on home soil. 

 

Brazil are back on home soil in 2021 in Copa America and it is Neymar who is tearful now just two games in - two games where Brazil have been imperious. Thursday's 4-0 victory over Peru sees Brazil winning both matches so far, scoring seven, conceding none and Neymar knocking in two. 

Those goals see Neymar edging closer to Pele's record-setting tally of goals for Brazil which sits at 77. Neymar is now on 68 and the PSG forward admits that "it's obviously a great honor for me to be part of the Brazil team's history."

 

Pele himself could not be happier to see Neymar getting closer to his record, posting on social media that "I'm rooting for him to get there, with the same joy I've had since I saw him play for the first time."

Neymar's tears on Thursday are given a hall pass with Brazil and the whole continent of South America suffering still with COVID-19 waves. "To be a role model for someone, to make people happy, it gives me joy," explained Neymar, "we're all going through a very atypical moment, a very hard moment in Brazil and elsewhere."

You can catch Neymar and PSG exclusively on beIN SPORTS as Ligue 1 returns on August 8th. 

 

 

Big trouble for Lille with coach confusion 

 

Time now to end on two clubs in a coaching pickle this summer. The first is Lille, current champions of Ligue 1. Preparations to defend that title are being hampered with the current situation with Christophe Galtier, their manager (or not) who helped deliver that triumph. 

Galtier has technically 'left' Lille to join Nice. He did so two days after Lille were crowned Ligue 1 champions. The problem though is that Lille's president is not willing to let a prized asset off the hook for free and wants $10 million from Nice as compensation. As far as Olivier Letang is concerned, Galtier is still in charge, when he really, really isn't - "Galtier is a top manager. I want to continue with him."

 

Tottenham are also in a managerial maelstrom. The Premier League is still trying to replace Jose Mourinho who was fired in the tail end of the last season and so far have failed in their goal spectacularly. There have been near misses - Antonio Conte, Paulo Fonseca. Some never happening - Mauricio Pochettino and on Thursday, the strangest rumor of all came about. 

Gennaro Gattuso had just left Fiorentina after just 23 days in charge and was being linked with the Tottenham job just hours later. A short chat with his agent and a social media campaign from fans suggesting this wasn't a good idea ended that scheme. The search continues. 


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