By Tim Stannard

1) Atletico linked in Wanda-ful move for Zlatan

It is a transfer that almost certainly won’t happen based on a rumor that was almost certainly made-up. Nevertheless, this spicy fare is leading the way in Sports Burst’s own reality bubble on Monday, a bleak day with no meaningful football at all. Not even the Confederations Cup.

Zlatan to Atletico Madrid. Just ponder on that for a moment. Dimension-shattering madness and perfect sense at the same time.

A transfer ban on the Rojiblancos sees Atletico Madrid unable to sign this summer. A cruciate ligament injury has plonked King Zlatan on the sidelines until January – coincidentally, when Atletico can register players again. The Swede is not yet ready to sail off into the MLS sunset while Atletico would love to have a decent, functioning striker at the Wanda Metropolitano.

It may all sound too good to be true. But the same was said about giant robots fighting sea monsters until Pacific Rim came along. See what Ray Hudson makes of the affair on the Facebook Live Transfer Tracker at 12:30PM ET / 9:30AM PT. And if you can’t catch it live, then watch it back later on our Facebook page and enjoy the madness.

2) Man United move in on Matic as Chelsea chase Bakayoko

EPIC TRANSFER TRACKER time! Unfortunately, the mood needs to be darkened now with some realistic deals which are actually going to take place. And those are considerably less juicy. A raisin left out on a Phoenix sidewalk dry in actual fact.

Jose Mourinho is set to bring Chelsea midfielder, Nemanja Matic to Manchester United, a footballer the Portuguese coach signed for Chelsea in 2014. Personal terms have been agreed as has a transfer fee of around $50m.

Most of that money will in turn be spent by the Stamford Bridge club on Monaco midfielder, Tiemoue Bakayoko. A deal is expected to be confirmed this week.

3) PSG midfield madness and Donnarumma rumbled

EPIC TRANSFER TRACKER TIME PART 2!

PSG are still making some waves in the transfer market. Although the club is in the being swamped by them category. Marco Verratti looks set to end up in a sticky mess this summer with the Italian midfielder rebelling.

Juventus are reportedly after another PSG midfielder, Blaise Matuidi. However, matters are not going all one way. PSG are said to be in the hunt for dazzling French forward, Ousmane Dembele, who only joined Borussia Dortmund a year ago from Rennes.

Two other kerfuffles from the Clasico world still see Real Madrid sniffing around Kylian Mbappe and Barcelona after Brazil midfielder, Paulinho.

Oh. Gianluigi Donnarumma’s social media business may have been hacked. Or not. Who knows any more in this particular slice of silly season shenanigans.

Tune into the XTRA from 7PM ET / 4PM PT for all the latest done deals and preposterous propositions from the transfer market.

4) Palace pick de Boer as next manager to fire  

From the mad at the top of the column to the mundane. Crystal Palace have appointed Dutchman Frank de Boer as their latest manager. De Boer’s most recent gig was a rather disastrous spell at Inter – not really the manager’s fault – although de Boer has landed at a team with a similar amount of institutional instability.

The Premier League outfit are now selecting the team’s fifth permanent manager in four years.  

WHAT IS SPORTS BURST?

The life philosophy of Sports Burst is that if you are not upsetting someone, then you are not trying hard enough. SB is a daily trawl and troll through the morning's sports news to bring you fact-nuggets to make you both smile and swear. Hopefully at the same time.