By Tim Stannard

1) Bad news for Russia as UEFA threaten Euro 2016 expulsion

If it wasn’t for the fact that this was the real world and not a James Bond movie, having the Russians as the big bad guys, once again, would be entertaining and almost comforting. This is the country that has apparently gone through extraordinary measures to systemically dope its athletes, which in turn sees Russia’s track-and-field team facing a ban from the Rio 2016 Olympics. But there’s an awful lot more.

Due to the reportedly organized nature of the Russian hooligans and Ultras who have blighted Euro 2016 and the congratulatory nature from a Russian official to the violence, UEFA is on the brink of chucking Russia out of yet another competition, should there be a repeat of the violence that happened in Marseille before and during Saturday’s England clash.

Europe’s governing body announced on Tuesday that one more incident and it is Do svidaniya! And this could get a little bit awkward considering Russia are due to hold the World Cup in 2018. “Such suspension will be lifted if incidents of a similar nature (crowd disturbances) happen inside the stadium at any of the remaining matches of the Russian team during the tournament,” read UEFA’s stern statement.

Meanwhile, French authorities are already trying to prevent any further incidents from taking place by detaining a bus load of supporters, amongst whom was Alexander Shprygin, the far-right head of the All-Russian Fans' Union. The bus was on its way to Lille, the venue for Russia’s next game against Slovakia on Wednesday in Lille.

2) Ronaldo gets ready for Viking invasion

The football action in Euro 2016 on Tuesday is fairly tantalizing with the Habsburg Derby between Austria and Hungary followed by Cristiano Ronaldo getting into some Euro action with a clash against the mighty footballing Vikings of Iceland, which will be like the Wildlings of Game of Thrones taking on King Joffrey.

Meanwhile, the Italians are all with the happy after a most unexpected 2-0 win over the highly fancied Belgium on Monday. "Beforehand, people were speaking about a lot of other sides and maybe we were underestimated. But now, that will be less so," claimed midfielder, Daniele De Rossi.

3) Argentina, Chile and Panama fight for final Copa quarter-final places. And yes, Messi will play

The end is nigh in Copa America for the group stages. On Monday, Mexico and Venezuela sealed their passages into the knockout stages after an entertaining 1-1 draw. Now Group D needs to be sorted out to find out whom will play him. Ideally, Argentina want to finish first to avoid that whole Mexico business. A draw against Bolivia will be enough to guarantee that spot, and even a defeat if not too heavy is tolerable as long as Chile do not hammer Panama.

Tata Martino has kept the TV companies, supporters and Frasier and Niles happy by guaranteeing that Leo Messi will see some minutes in Tuesday’s clash in Seattle.

4) Zlatan close to Man United move as Ranieri admits to Vardy’s Arsenal dilemma

ZLATAN NEWS! According to the British media, He is going to be taking a medical with Manchester United after Euro 2016 to complete His next move to becoming a Thor-like god in the Premier League. Let’s hope that plan for world domination goes better than on Monday with Zlatan’s Sweden held to a 1-1 draw by Ireland.

JAMES VARDY NEWS! Claudio Ranieri, Sheriff of Leicester Town, Population – Champions, has admitted that Arsenal have offered the release clause for James Vardy and that it is now up to the player to decide what he wants to do with the offer from the Emirates club. Vardy is currently on duty with England at Euro 2016.

5) Barca pay fine for Neymar contract fraud case as Everton confirm Koeman

More news from the endless controversy surrounding Neymar’s move from Santos. Barcelona have agreed to pay a $6.1 million fine to the Spanish authorities to settle a tax fraud case over the transfer of the Brazilian in 2013

After several weeks of faffing, EPL side, Everton have announced that former Valencia and Southampton boss, Ronald Koeman, will be their new manager for the next three seasons to be spend finishing in eighth.

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The life philosophy of Sports Burst is that if you are not upsetting someone, then you are not trying hard enough. SB is a daily trawl and troll through the morning's sports news to bring you fact-nuggets to make you both smile and swear. Hopefully at the same time.