By Tim Stannard

1) Pogba keeps options open on next season’s plans

Paul Pogba has put down some ground work, lest the Juve midfielder decides to head to Old Trafford this summer. Lesson 1 – kiss up to United fans and talk about his love for his first club. Pogba was speaking whilst having an evening out at Wednesday’s ESPY awards and said that United was his “first family.”

Paul Pogba has put down some ground work, lest the Juve midfielder decides to head to the Santiago Bernabeu this summer. Lesson 1 – kiss up to Cristiano Ronaldo by affirming that the Portuguese poacher should be the 2016 Ballon d’Or winner. Pogba was speaking whilst having an evening out at Wednesday’s ESPY awards and added that Real Madrid is “a great club.”

Paul Pogba has put down some ground work, lest the French midfielder decides to stay with Juventus this summer. Lesson 1 – kiss up to his current club by suggesting that he never had any intention of leaving in the first place. "It's my team, my family. It's where I'm playing,” announced the Juve man. Pogba was speaking whilst having an evening out at Wednesday’s ESPY awards and added that “when I wear this [shirt], I'm happy.”

2) Juve reinforce already solid back line as Chelsea make move for Kante

DONE DEAL! Bayern Munich defender, Medhi Benatia is off to Juventus on a loan deal with an option to buy. The Moroccan failed to settle in the Bundesliga after two seasons and returns to Serie A after spells with Udinese and Roma.

NEARLY DONE DEAL! Leicester City have reportedly been offered $36m by Chelsea for the midfield services of Ngolo Kante. Should the Foxes decided to accept, then Leicester will be making around $30m profit on the player who was bought from Caen just a year ago.

NO IDEA DEAL! Carlos Bacca says that he is still pondering his future at AC Milan, after reportedly failing to agree terms with EPL outfit, West Ham. “My permanence will depend from the club's project, from our new investors, from the players who'll arrive. Decisions need to be made,” announced the bossy San Siro striker.

3) Mourinho possibly calls Zlatan a clown as new challenger bids for England job

Jose Mourinho revealed what many hoped to be true. That King Zlatan is an amusing fellow. “He’s a funny guy and if you don’t know him, maybe you think with some quotes he’s a bit arrogant,” said the new Manchester United manager. King Zlatan’s response had his boss a little concerned though - “funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh?”

Sam Allardyce may have a rival for the England job, which is currently vacant but no-one really seems to want. Current Albania coach, Gianni De Biasi, says he would be the perfect fit.

Real Madrid have released their new kit designs for the 2016/17 season that they would really like you to buy, to keep Gareth Bale in top-knot provisions.

4) Still drunk from weekend FIFA declares Belgium to be second best team in the world

Despite two rather hefty tournaments being played over the summer, there are no changes to the top-five in the FIFA rankings. So Belgium are still second and Colombia third. That doesn’t sound right. The US of A are in 25th, one place ahead of the Netherlands. That does.

A very pleased UEFA have announced that there was no funny or fishy business at Euro 2016 in terms of suspected match-fixing or other such shenanigans. "The analysis carried out by the specific UEFA working group showed that Euro matches had been played without any integrity concerns," barked a suit. All that UEFA have to do now is work out how the heck Portugal managed to win the whole thing.

5) Physical torture expected on le Tour as Mont Ventoux awaits

It’s all about the wind at the moment in the Tour de France. Stage 11, won by Peter Sagan, saw strong crosswinds blasting apart the peloton. But now the cyclists face what has been described as the “Moby Dick” of cycling – the grueling Mont Ventoux. However, wind conditions are expected to be so bad at the summit of the mountain that Thursday’s Stage 12 is finishing some four miles further down. Wimps.

Unlike the Olympics, there is money to be won at The Open, so the world’s golfers have headed to Scotland to Royal Troon where Zach Johnson will be trying to win back the Claret jug.

WHAT IS SPORTS BURST?

The life philosophy of sports burst is that if you are not upsetting someone, then you are not trying hard enough. sb is a daily trawl and troll through the morning's sports news to bring you fact-nuggets to make you both smile and swear. hopefully at the same time.