Sports Burst – Pique’s Troll Time
Clasico banter, Casemiro’s threat and Serena’s early exit.
By Tim Stannard
Sports Burst was really hoping that by now, there might have been something resembling proper news out there after a week of ‘hopping Neymar’ and made-up stories about Jaap Stam taking over Manchester United. But there isn’t.
So, leading the way is an article written by Gerard Pique in the Players’ Tribune that despite rumors to the counter, the Barcelona and Real Madrid players who are also Spanish internationals get on famously and even have a WhatsApp group. They probably even let Nacho join.
After joshing over discussions what books the players are reading, the Barcelona troll machine revealed what really goes on. “All we do in that group is talk s**t to one another about Barca and Real!” So basically, the chat group is a microcosm of the internet in general.
While Pique admitted that the Real Madrid group held sway last season after winning the league title and Champions League - endless “shirtless photos on Instagram from the locker room,” - matters are much quieter this year from the Bernabeu posse. “All their Instagram photos are looking very somber. So, I'm texting them in the WhatsApp group, saying 'come on guys, why so serious? Then I put a little crying emoji, and a laughing emoji."
(Sigh) Sports Burst simply can’t do this anymore. Lost. Will. To. Live.
Casemiro’s temporary truce on Brazil teammates
Apparently, the column is contractually obliged to find three more stories. Curse those pesky lawyers.
But this one is more substantial, fairly fun and it involves inter-teammate banter again, but this time with Brazil who are facing Russia in a World Cup warm up on Friday – live on beIN SPORTS at 11:50AM / 8:50AM PT.
On Wednesday, Casemiro was also probed on how the battle-lines lie between footballers who are international teammates one day, but rivals the next. And Casemiro was happy to clarify that there are no lines at all when a friend is dressed in an opposition’s shirt.
When asked how he would treat compatriot Douglas Costa if the speedy winger was bearing down on his Real Madrid goal in the upcoming Champions League clash against Juventus, the answer was simple. “I’d break him in half,” chuckled the Brazilian midfield marauder.
Tune into the XTRA at 7PM ET / 4PM PT for as our experts joust over who has the best chance of winning the World Cup this year – Brazil or Argentina.
Griezmann will 100% certainly move to Manchester United
Back to the trivia. Forget the Antoine Griezmann to Barcelona stories circulating planet on Wednesday. Thursday has moved on. That’s because the wantaway Atletico Madrid man is 100% certain to move to Manchester United this summer.
Why? Because he sat in between Paul Pogba and Anthony Martial at dinner for the French national team on Wednesday. And we know that because Griezmann was presented with a big birthday cake that night to celebrate turning 27. Eagle-eyed readers will have spotted that both Pogba and Martial play for Manchester United. Ergo, Griezmann is getting some quality time with his new teammates ahead of the move.
Serena bows out in first round of Miami Open
It was always set to be a tough draw for Serena Williams at the Miami Open against Naomi Osaka – possibly the most out-of-form player at the tournament after a 13-month lay-off against one of the hottest properties.
The 20-year-old Osaka was fresh from winning the Indian Wells tournament and carried that form into Wednesday night with a 6-3, 6-2 win over Serena, who later issued a statement that “Naomi played a great match and I learn something each time I play. I look forward to continuing my return by progressing every day.”
Thursday sees more US stars from the WTA in action with Sloane Stephens and Madison Keys facing Round of 64 games. However, this tennis ball-batting pair will be battling for the sporting limelight with March Madness back underway with the opening four games from the Sweet Sixteen Round.
WHAT IS SPORTS BURST?
The life philosophy of Sports Burst is that if you are not upsetting someone, then you are not trying hard enough. Sports Burst is a daily trawl and troll through the morning's sports news to bring you fact-nuggets to make you both smile and swear. Hopefully at the same time.